That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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