if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
