No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
