i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
