Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
