Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
