whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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