She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
