I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Randomize
