Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
