I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
