I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I smell like Dick and happiness
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
