we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
