So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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