He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Ladies don't puke and tell
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
