I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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