When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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