I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
