Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
