His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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