Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She told me I should be a condom model.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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