dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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