I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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