Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
