What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
