So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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