I've blown a few things in my day
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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