oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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