Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
