operation harelip BJ is a go
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
