eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
