I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
