I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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