dude you need to get laid
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
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Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
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I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.