Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
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I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
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why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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