You just made me feel so damn special
I need help removing her.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
