Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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