I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
my liver is dry heaving
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
