Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
