all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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