i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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