Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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