my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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