So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
