Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
