No awkward lesbian experiences without me
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
