No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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