I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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