But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
