I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I am full of burrito and curiosity
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
