I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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