well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
how does that bad decision feel?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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