no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
