Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
