he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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