I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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