16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
