let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
