Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
