dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
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ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
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Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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