you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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