just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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