Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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