I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
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But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize