Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
