I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
