hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
