i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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