bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
